I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
