oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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