Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
