I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
