We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
