do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
NoShamevember. You game?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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