i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
