Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
