This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
