I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
