I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
