i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
