I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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