butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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