toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
