You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Randomize
