I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
