Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
