We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
