It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
