we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
