tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
