Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
