I think I am morally bankrupt
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
