So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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