Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
