sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She's like a pop up book from hell.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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