I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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