I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
