I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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