Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
