Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Success! We fucked roommates!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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