i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
