So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
