you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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