Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
