I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
