well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
