I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
