I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
