Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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