I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
