I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
