I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm getting married
To pizza
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
