do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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