five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
