She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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