At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
