I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
