I cockslap morals
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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