every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
