Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
