He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
