We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
