What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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